Should we get tested before having sex? How to talk to a new partner

Yes, you both should, and probably better to get it done before you stop using condoms, whether that happens before the first time you have sex or later into the relationship.

The British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (BASHH), which writes the UK’s clinical guidelines on STIs, advises that people without symptoms should test at the start of a relationship, then annually and after any change of partner.
Having a new partner is obviously a change of partner for both of you, so the advice applies to you as a couple rather than to whichever of you has the longer history.

The reason is that most STIs are silent:

The NHS reminds us that most people with Chlamydia have no symptoms.

The World Health Organization estimates that more than 1 million curable STIs are acquired every day worldwide in people aged 15 to 49, the majority of them without symptoms.

So, feeling fine, and trusting each other, is no reassurance that you didn’t catch something from a previous partner. Only a test can give you true peace of mind. Read on to learn more about how we carry silent infections.

Because having no symptoms is the normal state of most of these infections rather than being a good sign that you are clear. Consider these figures:

• Our Chlamydia page puts the figure at about 50% of men and 75% of women with no symptoms at all.
• Gonorrhoea is another example of often being silent in both sexes.
• Syphilis can produce a painless sore that heals on its own. As it’s painless, if you haven’t noticed it, the infection will spread.
• The NHS HIV page reminds us that people can live with HIV for years without symptoms, which is why many people with HIV do not know they have it.

Our post “Can I still have an STI if I feel fine?” goes through the silent infections one by one.

The national figures point the same way. Of the 334,151 new diagnoses in England in 2025, 119,033, more than a third, were in people aged 15 to 24, and this UKHSA report names young people as among the groups with disproportionately high diagnosis rates.

Testing at the start of a relationship means the infection being caught early, before it has had time to do any harm or to be passed on to the person you are trying to protect.

The trick is to ask directly and early, and to frame the test as a habit of yours avoids awkwardness, rather than sounding like a question about their past. Try these tips that make this easier:

• If you want to keep it light: “Before things go any further, I’d like us both to get tested. I do it with every new partner, so it’s nothing to do with you.”
• If you would rather lead by example: “I’ve booked a sexual health screen for Thursday. Do you want to book one too? We could go together.”
• If you are already talking about condoms: “I’d love to stop using condoms at some point. Can we both do a Full Screen first, so we know exactly where we stand?”

Whichever approach you choose, we have some other useful advice for you:

• Pick a moment that is not the bedroom, to make the conversation a normal chat between adults.
• Expect a pause, and resist the urge to fill it with apologies, your suggestion to get tested is a good thing.
• If your partner says they were tested recently, ask when, because a test taken before their last partner does not cover the time since, and the BASHH guidance says to test after every change of partner.
• Remember, too, that the answer you are looking for is a simple “yes” rather than an account of their history!

This post publishes during Sexual Health Week (14 to 20 September 2026), whose theme this year is “Let’s Connect”, and a conversation like this one is exactly the kind of connecting it has in mind.

First of all, deciding which tests to do and when can seem like a minefield, so if you prefer to talk to us about testing? Our Patient Care Team is available 24/7 on 020 7099 0955.

• When to test: Start by counting the days from the last time either of you was at risk with anyone else, because every test has a window period: the time between catching an infection and the point at which a test can reliably detect it. Some infections can be reliably detected at 14 days, while others may require a longer wait to give robust results.
• You should be aware that detecting syphilis and herpes can be a little trickier than just waiting out the window period:
  • For Syphilis, 14 days is our earliest test day rather than a final answer, because the 2024 BASHH Syphilis guideline recommends repeat screening 3 months after any high-risk contact, on the grounds that a negative result within 3 months of infection cannot exclude early Syphilis.
  • For Herpes, our Herpes page advises waiting 4 weeks after an incident before a blood test if you have no symptoms, so a negative Herpes result at 14 days should not be considered definitive.
• What to test for: Our testing packages which allow you to get tested early if you’re worried, or later on if a month has already gone by since the last sexual contact. Have a look at the different types and call us for more guidance.

(The earliest test days and results times in the table are those on the Better2Know product pages, checked on 4 September 2026, and results times are working days from your sample reaching the laboratory.)

• What to test for: You can test in person at one of our private clinics across the UK, where appointments take about 10 to 15 minutes and are often available the same or next day.
  • Alternatively, you can get tested from home by ordering the Full Screen home test kit. It is dispatched first class the same day for weekday orders placed before 4pm and includes free return postage. Results go to your secure online patient area, and if anything is found we arrange a doctor’s consultation and help you get treatment.
  • Every test is confidential whether you come to see us, or whether we send you out kit.

We can help you decide, what to test for, when and where to do the tests. Our Patient Care Team is available 24/7 on 020 7099 0955, and our guide “Which STI test do I need?” covers

Should we get tested together or separately?
Yes. Getting tested together helps you both to move forward in the relationship with peace of mind. Doubts will remain if you are not open to each other, and showing you care means a lot at this time. A negative result in one person doesn’t mean the other is negative too.

When can we stop using condoms?

You can stop when four boxes are being ticked:

1. You are both negative and happy that the you did the tests respecting the window period we mentioned earlier.
2. The second is that if there has been an STI positive result. That you have both been treated correctly with the right antibiotic and advice. See below for more information about this situation.
3. Thirdly, that you have agreed you are exclusive, and that you both mean the same thing by it.
4. And the fourth consideration is that, if pregnancy is possible, that you have sorted out contraception, which the condoms were quietly taking care of until now.

Until all four are in place, the answer is condoms every time. Of course, you may still decide to keep on using condoms as a precaution against STIs or pregnancy, after all, that is actually the WHO advice.

What if my partner refuses to get tested?
Start by finding out why.
You can help them by leading by example, if their negative response is due to fear and embarrassment.
If they think it is unnecessary as they were tested recently, remind them that any partners after that need to be considered when planning a test. Maybe they just trust you, but showing mutual respect to each by taking this step counts a lot to foster trust.
A resounding “no” will mean you have to think about how to manage the relationship from that point onwards, but leading by example and getting tested anyway may spur them on to do the same.
Our post “What to do if your friend won’t get tested for an STI” was written for a friend, but every word of it applies to a partner.

What happens if one of us tests positive?
This is the whole reason to get tested. Treatment can be arranged (for the patient or for the partner too in some circumstances), either antibiotics or antiviral medication, and this will help to protect your new partner. With Better2Know, a positive result comes with a doctor’s consultation and help arranging treatment, and our post “Do I need to tell my partner I have an STI?” helps with the conversation itself.

Is a Full Screen enough for a new relationship?
For most couples, yes. The Full Screen covers Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, HIV and the p24 antigen, Hepatitis B, Mycoplasma and Ureaplasma from 28 days after the last risk. It does not include Herpes, HPV, Hepatitis C, Trichomonas or Gardnerella; the Early Platinum Screen adds all of those except HPV, which is a separate test, and our Patient Care Team can add a single test to your booking. If you gave oral sex or received anal sex, say so when you book, because a urine sample tests the urethra only and a throat or rectal swab can be added.

What if we have already had sex?
There is no need to panic, but do count the days. Use condoms from now on, book the Peace of Mind for 14 days after the last risk and the Full Screen for 28, and test straight away if either of you has symptoms. If you think you were exposed to HIV in the last 72 hours, seek urgent medical care today, because the 2021 BASHH guideline on PEP says that post-exposure prophylaxis (PEP) should start as soon as possible after exposure, preferably within 24 hours, and is not recommended beyond 72.

Do we need to test again later?
Yes, BASHH advises people without symptoms to test annually and after any change of partner, so a relationship that opens up, ends or was never quite exclusive resets the clock. Test sooner if either of you develops symptoms, if a previous partner tells you they have tested positive, or if our doctor has asked for a follow-up test after treatment.

Mike Asher, Better2Know: “The couples I worry about are the ones who tell me they skipped the test because they trust each other. Trust is about the future. A test is about the past, and many of the infections I diagnose have been silent for months. So, my general advice would be that if you want to be completely safe, condoms would be the way to go until both results are back, and don’t forget that the result that counts is the one taken after the window period, not the one taken the morning after.”

The answer to “should we get tested before having sex?” is yes, and the more useful version is “before we stop using condoms”. Raise it as something you do with every partner rather than something you suspect about this one, and then let the calendar do the rest: the Peace of Mind from 14 days after the last risk, the Full Screen from 28, and both of you looking at both results.
Most STIs are silent, the most common ones are curable, and the couples who test early never have to find that out the hard way. Book the Better2Know Full Screen at a clinic near you or with a home test kit, and if you would prefer to talk it through first, our Patient Care Team is available 24/7 on 020 7099 0955.

This article was medically reviewed by Dr Steve Chapman. Better2Know content is reviewed for clinical accuracy before publication and updated whenever guidance or surveillance data changes. It is general information and not a substitute for personal medical advice.

1. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, Summary guidance on testing for sexually transmitted infections, 2023. https://www.bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/resources/bashh_summary_guidance_on_stis_testing_2023.pdf
2. UK Health Security Agency, Sexually transmitted infections and screening for chlamydia in England: 2025 report, 2 June 2026. https://www.gov.uk/government/statistics/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis-annual-data-tables/sexually-transmitted-infections-and-screening-for-chlamydia-in-england-2025-report
3. NHS, Chlamydia, page last reviewed 24 October 2024. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chlamydia/
4. NHS, HIV and AIDS, page last reviewed 9 July 2025. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hiv-and-aids/
5. World Health Organization, Sexually transmitted infections (STIs) fact sheet, 10 September 2025. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/sexually-transmitted-infections-(stis)
6. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, UK guidelines for the management of syphilis, 2024. https://www.bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/syphilis_2024.pdf
7. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV (co-badged with the British HIV Association), UK guideline for the use of HIV post-exposure prophylaxis, 2021 (2023 amendment). https://bhiva.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/PEP-guidelines.pdf
8. Better2Know UK pages for the Full Screen (clinic and home test kit), Peace of Mind (clinic and home test kit), Early Platinum Screen, the Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea, Syphilis, HIV, Hepatitis B, Herpes and HPV information pages, the clinics page and city clinic pages (appointment length and same or next-day availability), and the home tests page, checked 4 September 2026.
9. Better2Know booking data, 1 January 2025 to 31 July 2026, internal analysis (Data Register UK-02).