8 tips for how to navigate casual sex when you have Genital Herpes

Genital Herpes is a lot more common than you may think.

Around 10% of Australians carry an HSV-2 infection, the virus that causes Genital Herpes. At Better2Know, we also see very high demand for tests to detect this blood-borne infection. Around 11% of all tests sold in Australia included a test for Genital Herpes or Oral Herpes.

HSV-2 is most often passed on through unprotected sex, like vaginal and anal sex. It can also be passed on through oral sex, but these infections are less common.

Despite your best intentions, Genital Herpes remains one of those STIs that can still be passed on even if you use a condom. That’s because the virus most often transmits through sexual contact with an active sore. For many people who have these infections, condoms may not completely cover the area where they have an outbreak.

Women are at particular risk for contracting Herpes since the vaginal wall is much thinner and more susceptible to infection than the skin of the penis.

Now that you know those stats about Herpes, here are some steps you can take to protect yourself and your current and future partners.

If you already know that you have Herpes, then you may not need our spiel. But there are many people who have Herpes and don’t even know it.

Most HSV infections don’t produce symptoms. This means you can have an infection and pass it on without your knowledge.

It’s important to talk to your doctor about your condition. They’ll be able to give you practical advice about how to engage in sexual activity with your condition.

Get to know the full facts about Herpes, from symptoms to treatment, by visiting our dedicated infection page.

Talking about STIs can be tricky. It’s not something most people put in their dating app profiles or discuss over drinks.

A stigma around Herpes remains in lots of people’s minds. However, you may find many prospective partners aren’t as concerned as you may think. It’s important to approach these situations with curiosity and be prepared to answer any questions your partner may have. Being upfront and honest with someone about your sexual health can help you avoid awkward situations in the future, and can even help foster intimacy in the moment. Use your best judgement about who to trust and what to reveal.

While many people won’t care that you have Herpes, some might. In these situations, remind yourself that having an STI is nothing to be ashamed of. Herpes is incredibly common, and many people are able to lead perfectly healthy and satisfying sex lives while they have it.

Even though you may have Herpes, practicing safe sex can significantly reduce the likelihood of infection.

Using condoms

Condoms are one of the best tools in your arsenal to protect your sexual health, even if you’re already infected. Condom use decreases the risk of a Herpes infection by about 96% for men. However, the decreased risk is only 65% for women. That’s because a woman’s vaginal walls are far more porous than the skin on the head of the penis.

Oral sex

The likelihood of transmitting Genital Herpes during oral sex is fairly low. Also, in the unlikely event that you do contract an oral HSV-2 infection during oral sex, your likelihood of passing it on is even lower. When HSV-2 infects the area around the mouth, it typically localises in the trigeminal ganglia, which lowers the likelihood of recurring outbreaks.

Even though the likelihood of Herpes transmitting during oral sex is low, you should take precautions. Consider using condoms or dental dams during oral sex to limit your exposure.

Fingering

Fingering can be a great way for a couple of experience the intimacy and pleasure of the sexual act while avoiding the many risks of infection.

However, fingering isn’t completely risk-free. If your partner has a hangnail or cut, the virus can enter their bloodstream and infect that area. This causes a condition called Herpetic Whitlow, which can cause severe swelling and discolouration of the finger during outbreaks.

To avoid this, use condoms or finger cots. These will create a barrier between you and your partner, allowing you to enjoy the sexual act with almost no chance of infection.

Outercourse

If both you and your partner want to be intimate but want to reduce your risk as much as possible, outercourse can be a great option.

Outercourse typically involves kissing, cuddling, rubbing, grinding, erotic massage, and mutual masturbation, often with clothes on. With fewer bodily fluids being thrown around, the risk of infection is next to zero.

If you already know that you’ve got Herpes, and you find a partner that also has it, you might think things are all good, right?

Well, not so much.

It’s important not to abandon safe sex, even if you and your partner have Genital Herpes. Even though you can’t get Genital Herpes twice, you could still be at risk of getting other STIs. Some STIs, like HIV, are more likely to appear in people who already have an existing, untreated infection like Herpes or Chlamydia.

This is probably the most important thing to remember. You’ll be most infectious during your outbreaks. Your first outbreak will likely be the most severe, but they will recur over time.

Most people who have had Herpes for a while learn to notice the early signals, usually coming in the form of tingling, itching, or burning sensations around the genitals. These usually precede the appearance of blisters.

If you have a Genital Herpes infection, you can take antiviral medication to help manage your symptoms. Antiviral medications work by interfering with the virus’s ability to copy itself once it’s active. They help reduce the severity of outbreaks, shorten their duration, and can sometimes prevent them completely. They will also reduce the risk of transmission, though they won’t completely eliminate it.

Talk to your doctor about which antiviral medication is right for you.

Having an STI doesn’t have to spell an end to your sex life. With the proper treatment, medication, and precautions, you can have a range of very satisfying experiences safely and without stress.

If you think you may have gotten a Herpes infection, there’s no need to worry. Click the button below to book a sexual health test at a clinic near you.