Should I ask my partner about getting tested for STIs?

STIs are common, and many cause no symptoms, so you can have one without knowing and pass it on during sex. In England, there were 334,151 new STI diagnoses in 2025. Worldwide, the World Health Organization estimates that more than 1 million curable STIs are caught every day by people aged 15 to 49.

If they aren’t treated, some STIs can cause serious problems, such as infertility from Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, and serious, sometimes life-threatening illness from untreated Syphilis or HIV.

Testing is the only way to know for sure, for both of you.

The earlier the better, ideally before you have sex for the first time, rather than when you’re about to have sex. Good times to talk about testing are:

• at the start of a new relationship
• before you stop using condoms
• if either of you has had other partners since you last tested
• if either of you notices any symptoms

Choose a time and place where you both feel relaxed and safe.

A calm moment, before things get physical, makes the conversation easier.

A few things can help the conversation go well:

• make it about both of you: suggest you both get tested, so it doesn’t sound like an accusation
• explain why: many STIs have no symptoms, so testing is the only way to be sure
• share your own status: say when you were last tested, or offer to test first
• listen: your partner may feel embarrassed or worried, so give them time to think

If it doesn’t go well, you can pause and come back to it later, once they’ve had time to think.

Talking about testing is a sign of respect, not mistrust.

You don’t need a script, but it helps to have a few words ready. You could try:

• “Before we stop using condoms, shall we both get tested?”
• “I got tested after my last relationship. When did you last have a test?”
• “Lots of STIs don’t have symptoms, so I like to test with every new partner. Would you test with me?”

It can also help to ask when they were last tested, whether they’ve had an STI before, and whether they use condoms with anyone else.

Keep it simple and practical, and suggest a plan you can both agree on.

Some people put off testing because they have no symptoms, think it’s a hassle, or are worried about a positive result. Try to find out why, and talk through their worries:

• many STIs have no symptoms, so feeling fine isn’t proof
• testing is quick and confidential, and you can do it at home
• the most common STIs, such as Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, can be cured with antibiotics

You shouldn’t ever feel pressured into sex, or into sex without a condom. If your partner won’t test, you can still choose to use condoms every time.

You decide what you’re comfortable with, and a good partner will respect that. Read more in “Why won’t my partner get tested for STIs?”

Testing together can make it feel like a shared plan rather than a test of trust. The timing matters, because a test too soon after sex can miss an infection:

• Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be tested from 2 weeks after sex
• a lab HIV test is reliable from 45 days after sex
• a Syphilis test in the first 3 months after sex can miss the infection, so you may need a repeat test

Keep using condoms or dams until you’ve both had your results.

If either of you has had sex with someone else recently, plan a repeat test. Read more in “New relationship? Get tested together before you stop using condoms”

Try not to jump to conclusions. Many STIs can be caught long before a relationship starts and go unnoticed for months or even years, so a positive result doesn’t mean someone has cheated. If one of you tests positive:

• don’t have sex, including oral sex, until you’ve both finished treatment. For Gonorrhoea, wait until 7 days after that, and for Syphilis, 2 weeks
• you may both need treatment, even if only one of you tested positive
• tell any other recent partners, so they can be tested too

A positive result is a health issue to sort out together, not a verdict on your relationship. Read more in “Can you catch Chlamydia without cheating?”

A good routine screen covers the most common STIs:

• Chlamydia: most people have no symptoms. If it isn’t treated, it can cause pelvic inflammatory disease, which can lead to infertility
• Gonorrhoea: not everyone gets symptoms. It can also cause pelvic inflammatory disease and infertility
• Syphilis: early symptoms are often mild and easy to miss. If it isn’t treated, it can cause serious heart, brain and eye problems
• HIV: some people get a short flu-like illness, then no symptoms for years. If it isn’t treated, it damages the immune system
• Hepatitis B: most people have no symptoms or only mild ones. Long-term infection can damage the liver

If either of you has had oral or anal sex, throat or rectal swabs may be needed too.

Most of these often cause no symptoms, which is why testing matters.

Better2Know offers:

• Full Screen: tests for 7 infections, including HIV, Syphilis, Hepatitis B, Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea, from 28 days after sex, with results in 3 days (5 days for the home test).
• Peace of Mind: tests for Chlamydia, Gonorrhoea and Syphilis from 14 days after sex, with results in 2 days. You can also order a home test kit.
• Platinum Screen: tests for 12 infections, including Herpes 1, Herpes 2, Trichomonas and Hepatitis C, from 28 days after sex, with results in 3 days.

You can each book a test at one of our clinics or order home test kits. Your results are confidential and go to your own secure patient area. If you test before 45 days, a negative HIV result needs a repeat test. A Syphilis test in the first 3 months after sex can miss the infection, so you may need a repeat test. Not sure which test you need? Our Patient Care Team is available 24/7 on 020 7099 0955.

Is it rude to ask a partner to get tested?

No. It’s a normal part of looking after your sexual health, and suggesting you both test makes it a shared decision rather than an accusation.

Should we test if neither of us has symptoms?

Yes. Many STIs cause no symptoms, so testing is the only way to know. UK guidance suggests testing at the start of a new relationship.

How soon after sex can we test?

Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be tested from 2 weeks after sex, but HIV and Syphilis need longer, so you may need a repeat test. If you have symptoms, test straight away.

Asking a partner about STI testing can feel awkward, but it’s one of the simplest ways to look after each other. Bring it up early, suggest you test together, keep using condoms until you both have your results, and respect each other’s choices.

Book a Full Screen at a clinic near you or order a home test kit. Our Patient Care Team is available 24/7 on 020 7099 0955.

Not in the UK? Choose your country from the selector at the top of the page for local tests and prices.

This article originally appeared on 17 February 2023 and was last updated on 1 October 2026.

This article is general information and not a substitute for personal medical advice.

Sources

1. NHS, Sexually transmitted infections (STIs), reviewed 13 May 2024. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/sexually-transmitted-infections-stis/
2. NHS, Chlamydia, reviewed 24 October 2024. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/chlamydia/
3. NHS, Gonorrhoea, reviewed 16 December 2024. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/gonorrhoea/
4. NHS, Syphilis, reviewed 17 March 2026. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/syphilis/
5. NHS, HIV and AIDS, reviewed 9 July 2025. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hiv-and-aids/
6. NHS, Hepatitis B, reviewed 17 November 2025. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/hepatitis-b/
7. NHS, Pelvic inflammatory disease, reviewed 17 December 2025. https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pelvic-inflammatory-disease-pid/
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10. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, Summary guidance on testing for sexually transmitted infections, 2023. https://www.bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/resources/bashh_summary_guidance_on_stis_testing_2023.pdf
11. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, UK national guideline for the management of infection with Chlamydia trachomatis, 2026. https://www.bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/national_guideline_for_the_management_of_infection_chlamydia_trachomatis_2026.pdf
12. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, UK national guideline for the management of infection with Neisseria gonorrhoeae, 2025. https://www.bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/fiferetal2025britishassociationofsexualhealthandhivuknationalguidelineforthemanagementofinfection_1.pdf
13. British HIV Association, British Association for Sexual Health and HIV and British Infection Association, Adult HIV testing guidelines, 2020. https://bhiva.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/HIV-testing-guidelines-2020.pdf
14. British Association for Sexual Health and HIV, UK guidelines for the management of syphilis, 2024. https://bashh.org/_userfiles/pages/files/syphilis_2024.pdf
15. Brook, Talking about condoms with your partner, 20 July 2023. https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/talking-about-condoms/
16. Brook, How to tell someone you’ve got an STI, 21 August 2025. https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/talking-to-people-about-stis/
17. Brook, Why you should get tested for STIs, 23 October 2024. https://www.brook.org.uk/your-life/why-you-should-get-tested-for-stis/